Sunday, November 27, 2011
Professional family life coach and published author, Kindred Howard, offers some observations and insights on male-female communication.
This just in: men and women are different! Nowhere is this more evident than when it comes to communication. And at no time can male-female communication be more challenging than when you throw in the added “fun” of raising little people. Men tend to see communication as primarily an exchange of data and ideas. It serves a practical purpose. It allows person A to relay relevant facts or interesting data to person B. Communication is not about a relationship, it’s a tool for conveying information. Women, on the other hand, tend to view communication as something more. To women, conversations are an important part of a mysterious relationship ritual known as “connecting.” (Mysterious to men, that is.) Sure, their communication serves a …
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Published Author and Professional Marriage & Parenting Coach Kindred Howard shares some thoughts regarding his 43rd birthday.
This week I turned 43 years old. Hard to believe, but I used to think 43-year-olds were grown-ups. In fact, I used to think they were old. Not anymore. Still, there are signs that I’m aging. It used to be that birthdays were a time to go out with my wife and friends to celebrate. Have some drinks. Enjoy a nice dinner. Cut up and have fun. Now all I want is an undisturbed nap and the chance to watch a TV show that isn’t animated and doesn’t involve a lesson on sharing taught by a Muppet. As for presents, what’s the best gift my wife can give me on my birthday? Buy me nothing! With five kiddos, you spend more money than you want to think about on children’s birthday parties throughout the year. In 2011, I’ve financed one pool party, paid …
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Professional marriage, parent, and family life coach and published author, Kindred Howard shares how he deals with whining. www.familyupward.com, www.cavemeninbabyland.com
Most kids whine. Normally, they whine because they don’t want to do something they’ve been told to do, or because they want something they’ve been told they cannot have. In my family, it’s mostly my six- and four-year-old sons who provide the whining. If tag-team whining were an Olympic sport, I’m confident my boys would win the gold medal, probably defeating the French by the narrowest of margins. Take the other day. I told my sons that they could not play until they straightened up the garage. My sons whined and complained as if I had just asked them both to donate a bodily organ without the benefit of anesthesia. Needless to say, I didn’t relent. “If you guys want to whine and wail instead of cleaning, that’s fine,” I said. “Just know …
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Professional marriage and parenting coach and published author Kindred Howard comments on the topic of little kids playing sports.
What’s up with all the tiny kids involved in sports today? When I was little, I didn’t play on my first organized sports team until I was 8 years old (the Cowboys, my first pee wee football team). Today, parents are signing their kids up to play on teams before their little tykes can even read. I’m not judging. I admit that I too have allowed my kids to play soccer and baseball before ever gracing the inside of a kindergarten classroom. But the key word is allowed. My wife and I initially had no desire to enroll our kids in sports at an early age (and I’m a sports fan). We just didn’t see the need for it. The way we saw it, any kid that can have hours of fun playing with the box his Christmas gift came in certainly doesn’t need organized …
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Award-winning writer, professional marriage and parenting coach, and Cavemen in Babyland author, Kindred Howard, shares about an average day as a suburban dad.
The other day, I was working at home by myself. Needing a break, I decided to take a few moments to play with my lunatic dog, Zoe, in the backyard. That’s when Mae came over for a visit. Mae is a sweet, strong-willed little five-year-old who lives next door. Not only does Mae continually demonstrate her ability to ask 122 questions per minute, she also insists on standing less than six inches away from any adult with whom she is having a conversation. While in the backyard with Zoe, I turned to see Mae climbing over the fence to join us. Afraid she might fall, I rushed over to help her. I didn't make it more than a few steps before I stepped in a big pile of dog poop. Slipping and sliding the last couple of feet, I reached the fence and …
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Professional marriage and parenting coach, award-winning writer, and author of the newly released book CAVEMEN IN BABYLAND, Kindred Howard, encourages men and women to listen closely to each other's "English."
The mother-father relationship is an important component of a healthy household. Of course, male-female relationships can be somewhat complicated. Let’s face it, men and women just see the world differently. A man and a woman can witness the same event or hear the same comment and come away with totally different understandings regarding what they just experienced. Take language, for instance. Men and women speak two totally different forms of English. Oh sure, many of the words are the same, but their meanings often aren’t. Men think they understand what their wife means because they recognize the sounds of the words. Unfortunately, while the phonics might be familiar, the syllables don’t always constitute the same meaning when used as …
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Professional marriage and parenting coach, award-winning writer Kindred Howard, points out the importance of realizing you're not good.
Here are a couple of questions to ponder: Are you a good person? Is your kid a good kid? The truth is that most people answer these questions incorrectly. The majority of men and women I know respond, “Yeah, overall I’m a good person. Not perfect, mind you, but basically good.” Sorry, wrong answer! Likewise, when it comes to their kids, most parents are rather generous. Even parents frustrated by their child’s misbehavior tend to temper their laments with statements like, “Overall, he (or she) is a good kid.” Guess what, no he (or she) isn’t. As I see it, American families are suffering from the effects of a “good” problem. Not good in the sense that it is a problem that’s good to have, but rather, we suffer from the misconception that we…
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Award-winning writer and professional marriage and parenting coach, Kindred Howard, laments the policital correctness of "criss-cross applesauce."
As I send my kids back to school for another year, I can’t help but be reminded of the “politically correct” society in which we now live. Say the wrong thing and you’re liable to be labeled as narrow-minded. Say the right thing but in the wrong way, and you’re still bound to insult somebody, if not an entire demographic group. When I was little, things were pretty simple. People with dark skin were “black.” People with pale skin were “white.” People whose ancestors lived in North America before Europeans arrived were “Indians.” If a kid won a race, then that kid got a ribbon or a medal. If he or she lost, then he or she didn’t. If a child’s team won the little league championship, then that child and his teammates got trophies. If the …
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Professional marriage, parent, and family life coach, humorist, and father of five, Kindred Howard, basks in the joy of starting another school year.
This week, my daughter, Emerson, goes back to school. She's now a proud third grader. It seems like just the other day I was dropping her off at preschool, her Little Mermaid backpack grazing the ground as she shuffled off to class. Now she's no longer into Disney Princesses. Ariel, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty have surrendered their thrones to Justin Bieber (Like baby, baby, baby no!...). No doubt about it, my little girl is growing up fast. Before I know it, Emerson will like boys. Talk about frightening! I can hear the theme from Halloween growing louder in my ears as I think about it. Already, while in preschool, Emerson had one little boy ask her to marry him. Emerson told him that she would, but first she wanted to finish …
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Professional marriage, parent, and family life coach Kindred Howard shares suggestions on how to get your kids to obey without the ineffective yelling.
The other day, I was at our neighborhood pool when I witnessed an exchange that is, unfortunately, all-too-common in American parenting. A mother’s “little angel” was running around the pool, disturbing others with his obnoxious screams, and basically just being a spoiled brat. (Excuse me, I mean ADHD-afflicted child. I wouldn’t want to be so politically incorrect as to suggest that this kid, rather than a behavioral disorder, might be responsible for his misbehavior.) The mother kept politely asking her little prince to calm down. However, as this rabid oompa loompa continued to ignore parental instructions, this woman’s tone changed from one of embarrassed irritation to one of angry frustration. “Billy!” she yelled (not his real name), “…
Susan Eppley
9:04 pm on Sunday, October 23, 2011
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