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Why There is no Need for Assault Rifles in Cobb County

Instead of fighting tyranny with an assault rifle, paint ball fights and line-dancing might achieve the same results.

On TV recently, a number of people have defended the use of semi-automatic “assault” type rifles and large capacity magazines. They all gave the same reason. These weapons, that aren’t good for hunting or target shooting, are for fighting tyranny. While this may be a good enough reason for some, obviously they have not thought it through as much as they should have.

The first confrontation with tyranny that an assault weapon owner might have would be against the Cobb County Police. Whether the confrontation was caused by a neighbor’s dog barking, a dispute over the right to have chickens in the back yard, or too much Red Bull, Hannity, and Jack Daniels, the result will be the same. Cobb’s defenders against tyranny may have some assault rifles but the Cobb police have more, and they have tear gas, not to mention an armored vehicle.

Plan “B” by Cobb freedom fighters would be to move to a remote county where they might outnumber and out gun the local police. The only problem would be that the Georgia State Patrol would come to evict or arrest the freedom fighters, if they so much as jay-walked. The state patrol has helicopters too.

Plan “C” has been in effect for a few years, take over a state. Idaho has been the state in many freedom fighters fantasies. Some have actually moved there. If they refuse to recognize the authority of state and federal laws, they will recognize drone aircraft, tanks, and attack helicopters. Navy Seals won’t be needed for such a small operation. A few ATF (Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms) personnel should do.

Telling a child that there is no Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy is wrong. Bursting an adult’s fantasy bubble is hard to do but sometimes, there is no choice. Telling a tyranny fighting, gun toting, patriot that they are living a fantasy with no possibility of success is absolutely necessary. On the positive side, they might find other ways to live out their anti-social beliefs. Paintball competitions might be a therapeutic way to release some of the pent up anger. There are people on golf courses that look like they are venting their anger more than trying to hit the little white ball. There is always therapy.

Whatever these folks decide to do to purge their demons, I wish them well. Their neighbors will feel a lot better too. If they tried line-dancing classes at Wild Bill’s Saloon, you never know, they might meet some girls.

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Richard "the Equalizer" Pellegrino January 27, 2013 at 08:23 AM
Love it Mike....you expose these myths with both good humor and wisdom! The other myth is that owning a gun makes one safer at home, when in fact, the statistics show the opposite. Another false sense of security.
Larry King January 30, 2013 at 08:06 PM
Well said Mike. Too bad those who have these type weapons have bought into unfounded fears

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