Health & Fitness
Forgiving Yourself (Part 2)
In Part 2 of this post, Dr. Michael Stovall addresses the biblical response to the need to forgive yourself.
[Click to read Part 1.]
REASONS WE STRUGGLE WITH RECEIVING GOD’S FORGIVENESS
Our struggle to receiving God’s gift of forgiveness can be summed up in three categories: regret, guilt and shame. Regret is when we are angry at ourselves about a decision made or not made. Regret asks the question, What if? The problem with regret is that we can always second guess ourselves. For example, what if we had done more to pursue our career goals? What if we had accepted the promotion at work? What if we had not moved our family to another town in another state when the children were teenagers? What if we had not given up on relationships with others? The thing about regret is that we wind up crucifying ourselves between two thieves … the regrets of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow.
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Guilt is the overwhelming sense of shame and remorse. Guilt can either be true guilt or pseudoguilt. True guilt results because of our sinful thoughts or actions. True guilt is taken care of by the blood of Jesus Christ that was shed at Calvary. The blood of Jesus takes care of true guilt by doing two basic things: 1) it washes away our sin and treats it as though it never existed; 2) it perfectly satisfies God’s eternal justice leaving nothing else for us to do. The hymn writer penned these words … What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus. What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus. Oh, precious is the flow that makes me white as snow, no other fount I know. Nothing but the blood of Jesus!
Pseudoguilt, false guilt, results from one of two scenarios. First, pseudoguilt occurs when sin was never involved in the first place. For example, a person who grows up in a more legalistic tradition can develop feelings of guilt because he feels he has to live up to a standard of behavior other than the grace of God. The Devil knows this is an open door into his life and he uses it to create feelings of guilt, false guilt, but real nonetheless. Second, pseudoguilt occurs when the sin has been forgiven but the person continues to listen to the Devil’s accusations rather than claiming God’s promise of cleansing and restoration.
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Shame results from a misunderstanding of God’s grace. Shame manifests itself in the feeling that “I do not deserve to be forgiven. What I did was terrible.” Grace is us getting what we do not deserve. Anything short of hell is grace. Grace is God’s unmerited favor of Him taking our sin and us receiving His forgiveness. “Grace is not grace if we have to be good enough for it to apply to us.” Shame make us feel as there is more that we must do in order to make things right. Shame makes us feel as if we owe God something in return for His grace. This requires more of us than the gospel of Jesus Christ requires. The gospel of Jesus Christ requires that we trust God and trust Him by faith to receive the cleansing power of his forgiving grace.
When we apply 1John 1:9 to our lives we see that God’s grace is sufficient not only to forgive us of our sins, but to cleanse us from the regret, guilt and shame that can accompany our sin. When we sin we must confess it and ask for God’s forgiveness. When our sin hurts another person we must also ask for their forgiveness. When someone sins against us we must grant forgiveness to him. Regardless of the circumstances, God’s grace is sufficient to forgive and to cleanse.
HOW DO WE RECEIVE GOD’S FORGIVENESS?
According to the Bible we are saved by faith and we are to walk by faith (Eph 2:8-9; 2Cor 5:7). Therefore, we receive God’s forgiveness by faith. Biblical faith means to trust. We must trust God that He is faithful to do what He says He will do. Faith is taking God at His Word and then living according to it. Consider the evidence of God’s faithfulness. He has demonstrated His faithfulness to creation by His continued provision for the changing of the seasons. God’s faithfulness to His plan for the redemption of the human race is evidenced in the fact that He made a promise in Genesis 3:15 that He fulfilled in John 3:16. When God makes a promise He has always been faithful to keep His promise.
Faith is not some hocus pocus verbal formula. Faith is only as good as the object of our faith. When the eternal, unchangeable, faithful God of Creation is the object of our faith we can rest assured that God’s promises are at work in our lives. The person who is struggling with feelings of regret, guilt and shame has yet to receive God’s forgiveness. Receiving God’s forgiveness simply requires that we confess our sin to God and repent of the sin and believe God for His promise of forgiveness and cleansing by trusting His faithfulness.
Before Cecily left my office that afternoon she had come to understand that what she needed to do about the guilt of the abortions was to receive God’s forgiveness. The young lady who had been weeping uncontrollably was now walking out of my office with a smile on her face and a steadfast assurance of forgiveness in her heart and mind. She experienced the freedom of God’s forgiveness.